If your tendency is to try and change other people, take some time to explore why you feel the need to do so. We all do it, whether it’s our beliefs system on food, religion, the planet, bringing up children, what to spend, what to do ………………………. Guess what we do it ten times more with family and loved ones.

Our perception of humanity as a whole is, to a large extent, dualistic. We paint people with a broad brush–some are like us, sharing our opinions and our attitudes, while others are different. Our commitment to values we have chosen to embrace is often so strong that we are easily convinced that our way is the right way. We may find ourselves frustrated by those who view the world from an alternate vantage point and make use of unusual strategies when coping with life’s challenges. This is more frustrating when its family, friends or close loved ones.


However ardently we believe that these people would be happier and more satisfied following our lead, we should resist the temptation to try to change them. Every human being has been blessed with a unique nature that cannot be altered by outside forces. We are who we are at any one point in our lives for a reason, and no one person can say for certain what another should be like. I am very reluctant now to let my clients buy lessons and privates for their partners and friends who they feel they need help. I always tell clients to pass my details on and let the person come of their own course. When we have forced it in the past, it has bnever worked as it’s us pushing our belief system onto someone else and they hav eto come when they are ready.

The reasons we try to change one another are numerous. Since we have learned over time to flourish in the richness of lives we have built, we may come to believe that we are qualified to speak on behalf of the greater source. The sum total of our knowledge will never compare to what we do not know, however, and our understanding of others’ lives will forever be limited. The potential we see in the people who are a part of our lives will never be precisely the same as our own, so we do these individuals a disservice when we make assumptions about their intentions, preferences, and goals. Our power lies in our ability to accept others for all their quirks and differences and to let go of the need to control every element of our existence. We can love people for who they are, embracing their uniqueness, or we can love them as human beings from afar.


Your ability to influence people may grow more sophisticated because others sense that you respect their right to be themselves, but you will likely spend more time gazing inward, into the one person you can change: yourself.

We all mirror each other and when we see something in others we do not like, its actually a reflection of something in ourselves. Everything starts with self-love and self-care. The biggest thing we can all do is learn to love ourselves. When we love ourselves, everyone and everything will change around us.

As Gandhi said,” Be the change you want to see in the world”.