Post lockdown love

“Love is consciousness, becoming aware of the Self”- Paul Chek

The way we behave, treat and react to others is a reflection of our state of mental well-being and happiness. Pain is always expressed through emotion because of fear (false-evidence-appearing-real). These are low level emotions that should not be denied, but are coming from fear, anger, guilt and resentment. The more developed we are as a person, the more empathy, compassion and patience we have with others. We should never judge a man by the creed that he/she professes, but by the life they lead. Is the creed that he/she professes in line with the life they live? If you have family or friends that are hurting, the biggest hurdle you will learn is that you cannot fix them or anyone. You have to let them do it alone. You cannot tell somebody something that they are not ready to hear. We have to change ourselves if we want others to change.

Speaking honestly with your core values and having the ability to listen to other points of view makes life a lot easier. We must be open to possibility. Most of us have fixed ideas which are in our unconscious of how things should be. It is dangerous to spend your life waiting for someone else or something to love you or make you happy, as you will never be happy. You will always be waiting, searching and looking for the next bigger and better thing. Could you start the day by looking in the mirror with a positive affirmation about yourself?? We all have something amazing to give to each other and the planet. Houston Smith’s (leading scholar of religious studies) last words on his deathbed were, “be a little kinder to people, life, yourself and nature”. If we do this, we can create something better for the planet plus our children and their children of the future.

Problem solving and pain in life plus relationship challenges with the self and others can develop love by becoming more aware and more conscious. The way we eat and live either ignites the fire or dampens the fire by becoming progressively depressed, lazy, passive and external.

Children that are raised with indifference can develop a break in the connection between their relationships, places and things and therefore love stops. Read my full article on Love here. Human beings are social creatures and when we become indifferent love stops and isolation occurs. Sadly, this is a form of giving up and it usually hurts the indifferent individual as badly as those he and she is in a relationship with.

Again, as a western society we mostly seek satisfaction, gratification and love from the external. We are bombarded with mainstream media with what and how we should be feeling, holidaying, dressing, doing, eating, drinking, buying……..As the saying goes: “If you follow the crowd, you will always be stampeded”. Life is not just about existing and being– each person also contains the seeds for actualizing their potential genius. We human beings have the capacity for “self-awareness” – to be conscious of a self that “I” call “Me.” The Self is the most unique feature of experience. It is what makes us human. Establishing a relationship with yourself is, at your most vulnerable and deepest core, an invitation to discover and realize yourself.

Did you know that the most intimate relationship you can have is with the self??

You cannot give to others what you do not have to give. Your yes means nothing without saying no. We are constantly numbed by mainstream media, poor quality foods and by a society that does not want critical thinking or questioning. Lack of love for the self, always results in addiction and satisfaction from an outside source. This can be seen in our addiction to food, sugar, alcohol, drugs, prescriptive drugs, sex, shopping, bad relationships, poor choices and so the list goes on.

Our social programming and childhood can affect our choices if we are unconscious of them. This means we will continue to act out the choices even if they cause more hurt and pain. The pattern that follows is a steam train of incidents and experiences that we do not want, but does not seem to stop. Hence the saying, “Out of the frying pan into the fire”. If you have ever had an experience of living or working with an addict of any sort you will understand where I am coming from. An addict does not just mean drugs or alcohol it can be anything from running up the credit cards to overeating and existing on sugar. Most food serves an emotion. Think, is there something else that you could do to serve that emotion? An addiction is any behaviour that we repeatedly do that does not give us results in our physical, mental and spiritual body.

Love is like a boomerang, what we throw out is what we get back.

How to use the boomerang principle:

The cause-and-effect law applies in our lives both internally (to oneself) and externally (to others and our surroundings). It applies personally in the form of self-fulfilling prophecies. You get the results you anticipate. Externally, what we give to others flows back to us. All you need to do is to stop before you act or react, ask the following questions and let the answers guide you.

Why do I want to throw this boomerang?

What’s your motivation? Is it to help or hurt? Is it to support or insult? This is very effective in highly reactive situations. If you don’t need to throw it, you stop and save yourself the pain of a negative outcome. Is it kind, is it true, is it helpful?

Am I sure this is what I want to do?

Double check that you are fully aware of why you’re doing something.

Can I use another boomerang?

You ask yourself if there is another way, a gentler more supportive way to do or say something.

I used to think that writing things to take them out of my system was healthy enough. Lately I found that if I used abusive language (even when I’m just venting on paper to myself) the thought still nagged at me. In other words, the boomerang returned almost instantly. So, I started reframing my words and that felt better.

What are the consequences of doing something? How will I feel when it comes back to me?

Let’s take the example of self-defeating thoughts like I can’t do this, or I don’t deserve that. When you think of the payback, you won’t want the negative outcome manifest in your life.

Which brings us to the last question.

What will happen if I choose not to throw this boomerang?

You will be able to stop many thoughts and actions right here. Once you make the decision that you don’t need to think this thought or say or do something, you will let it go.

Taking the example above, when you ask yourself do I need to think that “I can’t’ do something. What if I just wave that thought goodbye and not allow it to take shape?” Instead, you may say: “I choose to let this thought go without believing it”. These questions are simple but powerful. Try to use them on a small part of the tens of thousands of thoughts you have each day and see what happens. Use them more in everyday interactions.

We have to take responsibility for our choices.

There are three choices that we all make when approaching any sort of situation from healing our back pain, losing the weight, winning the race or achieving our goals.

Optimal choices are only optimal because they produce the best possible result.
Suboptimal choices produce stress, discomfort or more pain. They are essential for growth and development and you are unlikely to find any human being who has not experienced this e.g, we will never appreciate good health until we have been out of health. It’s the line of balance between homeostasis and allostasis. We become and develop who we are through suboptimal choices, but the secret is to learn from them.
Indifference or do nothing – This is very frustrating for me as a practitioner as I can see many clients taking this path. To do nothing simply halts life and evolution. Remember life is movement, I always remember Julio Hovarth (GYROTONIC EXPANSION SYSTEM® Inventor) affirming this, “the cause of all disease is stagnation, regardless of mental, emotional or otherwise Therefore with a systemic and well calculated process, one can attain a natural aging without too much discomfort, indulging in the gift of life and in one’s body and dance free in the spirit.
As you aim your attention and intention toward the Self you are learning how to remember that you are the Self, you are God, God is all. When you enter into dialog with your interior self you realize that you are always being guided toward the wellspring of lasting joy and happiness, even if the path is difficult and challenging. If you truly listen to what the body is telling you, what your dreams are showing you, what your core-desires feel like, you may discover the many clues toward your path that leads to mind-body healing, functional stress-free living and loving, actualization of your purpose and eventual spiritual transcendence. This is one of the great secrets of the world’s wisdom traditions. By attending to what my body tells me and honouring my 4 Doctor (Hippocrates) needs by grounding myself in their values, I’ve been able to consciously change the quality of my experiences as I recreate myself in wholeness giving me a healthy self-respect for my life experiences.

As you connect to know yourself, seek to know by Love as well as by observation and thought. Plunge into greater participation with life. Go within. Breathe. Be a silent witness to what you behold.

Committing to a relationship of love with your Self is a never-ending process. As you willingly engage and peek into the shadows, become fearless to embrace your whole Self with Love. Through patience, facing your inner fears and acting with courage, you’ll emerge as a wise, mature, capable, loving and happy human being.